A few weeks ago, an older patient sat across from me in my consulting room at Corewell Health Clinic. His adult daughter had encouraged him to come in for a long-overdue check-up.
As we went through his routine health assessments, I asked him a simple question I ask many of my patients: “Beyond your general health, what are you hoping to get out of the next few years? What do you still want to do?”
He paused for a moment, looked over at his daughter, and began to speak not about his blood pressure or his prescriptions, but about his worries. He talked about feeling his stamina fade, his anxiety about becoming a burden as he gets older, and the travel plans he and his wife had put off for years that he was worried his body could no longer handle.
After the consultation, his daughter pulled me aside. She said, “Doctor, we talk almost every day, but I had no idea he was thinking about any of that.”
That moment stayed with me.
So many fathers spend decades in “provider mode”. They work long hours, absorb stress quietly, and carry the heavy lifting for their families. In the process, they learn to brush off their own physical complaints with a quick “I’m fine” to the point where even their own children stop asking what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Beyond the Shirts, Watches, and Sunday Lunch
When Father’s Day rolls around, our instinct is to buy a physical gift a new shirt, a gadget, or a bottle of wine and gather for a family meal.
While those celebrations are wonderful, most fathers reach a point in life where they simply don’t need more stuff. What they often crave most is something far less tangible: our undivided presence, our willingness to listen, and support for their long-term vitality.
If we want to give our fathers a gift that truly lasts, we need to start having deeper, more meaningful conversations about their quality of life.
We need to ask them:
- How is your energy holding up day-to-day?
- Is there anything physical stopping you from enjoying your hobbies?
- What experiences or goals do you still want to tackle in the years ahead?
Health is the Key to Meaningful Years Ahead
In medicine, we often talk about healthspan, not just how long someone lives, but how many of those years are spent feeling capable, active, and independent.
Can Dad’s body keep up with the life he wants to live? Can he go on those trips, play with his grandchildren, and wake up feeling strong enough to tackle the day?
Father’s Day shouldn’t just be a one-day celebration that ends when the photos are taken. It can be the start of a new chapter where we help our fathers prioritise their physical and mental well-being, ensuring their future years are as rich and active as possible.
A Small Step for Father’s Day
This Father’s Day, I encourage you to take a few quiet minutes to really talk to your dad. Listen to what he’s worried about, what he’s carrying internally, and how he’s feeling beneath the surface.
And if he’s been silently carrying heavy stress or emotional strain, help him take that first step. At Corewell Clinic, we provide a safe, compassionate space to explore emotional health, reduce stress, and resolve long-standing worries, helping our fathers build the inner resilience needed to live full, meaningful years ahead.
Warmly,
Farzin Shaykhi
Clinical Psychologist & Founder, Corewell Clinic
